A year ago today…

A year ago today, I vowed that 2011 would be a better year.

A year ago today, I was headed toward the airport and couldn’t be more relieved about coming home…which may be deemed strange because there was a huge blizzard up in NY and everyone up here was yelling at me for complaining about how I had to wear a sweater in Florida.

But that’s besides the point.

One year later, I can look back upon 2011 and see that a better year has gone by. In the course of a year, I’ve been able to turn things around before it was too late. I’m no longer being forced to take pills that don’t help me. I’m no longer wishing that I could spend every day forgetting about the atrocities around me to watch Netflix all day (or maybe I’m still like that…but only because I’m being pummeled with useless busywork). Everyone in my family has finally adapted to the changes we have been through and we’ve found our new places in each other’s lives.

When I look back, I really don’t know how I made it through those two months…the two months when everything seemed to be falling apart. When the people who were supposed to be there for me weren’t. And how that’s all a thing of the past.

But something that will always scare me is the underlying notion that those two months will not be the last (or only) two months. As 2012 is around the corner, I graduate high school, I move on to college, and eventually find a new stability, I’ll have to face one of the scariest truths that I am currently avoiding: that all this may only be possible because of a single white pill…